What is frame control? It’s being in charge of the meaning of the communication. If you have a strong frame, that means it’s hard for other people to slip in and change the meaning of the conversation, event, or interaction.
For example, let’s say you decide to eat chicken. You’ve decided to go to your favorite chicken restaurant. There is no question in your mind that you are eating chicken. You don’t care if you go alone, or with the Pope himself.
On the way to the Chicken shop, you pass by tons of people. They all try and get you to change your mind and go with them. But you don’t budge. You’re going to get chicken. They are welcome to come, but you don’t mind if they don’t want to. You are eating chicken.
Here’s the important part. The frame is your decision to do something and stick with it. The stronger your intention, the less likely you are to waiver, the stronger your frame. The content, the stuff inside the frame, is the chicken.
Here’s the even more important part. People are naturally attracted to people with strong frames. In fact, people are so attracted to people with strong frames that they don’t really care about the content.
Say you’ve got a couple friends. They both love tacos, pizza and burgers, but don’t like chicken too much. You bump into them, and they’re going out to dinner, but they aren’t sure where they are going. They will likely want to go with you, not because they like chicken, but because you’ve got a strong frame.
Why is this? Who knows. Maybe because we evolved DNA that tells us it’s safe, and preferable to follow somebody with a strong frame, rather than wander around with our own wishy-washy frames.
The is exactly why we have these things called cults. Cult leaders have incredibly strong frames. So strong that people willingly kill themselves just because the cult leader tells them to.
So, how does this apply to seduction? Just like the guy above chose to eat chicken, regardless of what somebody else wanted, your goal should be to find a quality woman, regardless of what everybody else thinks.
What is a quality woman? That is completely up to you. You’ve got to figure this for yourself. When you figure out as much detail as you can about what makes a quality woman, in your eyes, and make that a strong criteria when meeting women, your charisma will skyrocket, and your approach anxiety will disappear.
Most guys go out and talk to girls because they hope they will get laid. Other guys go out and talk to girls because they hope they’ll find somebody who’ll finally see the “real” them.
You, on the other hand, don’t need either of these models. You know the real you, and you accept yourself. You know that any girl would be lucky to be with you. And you have your own criteria for who that is. If any particular girl doesn’t meet any of your criteria, it’s not big deal. You can easily find somebody who does.
This will, paradoxically, make you the most attractive and sought after guy around.